You haven't been on the hot and heavy side of your marriage or partnership and in fact, if truth be told, it's been way too long to be considered "just a dry spell", now what do you do? Take the advice of the authors of Getting to I Do and just relax and engage the senses. Here's how it's done. Set aside 2 hours and turn off all cell phones, beepers, and other distracting electronics. Tell your mate that you will be merely enjoying each other's company. Ask the male energy prominent partner to bring finger food. The female energy prominent partner will set the mood by running and preparing a bath, turn on soft instrumental music, light candles, and gather lotions/oils. IMPORTANT instructions- no talking! First take a bath and enjoy your food then climb out and give each other a massage. At the end of the two hours separate and each take a journal and notice what came up for you.
This last bit is where you can use EFT. Here as some examples of what might come up:
"Even though I felt incredibly vulnerable,....."
"Even though I was sad that my partner seemed more interested in the food and bath than in looking into my eyes, ..."
"Even though I felt angry that he was rushing through my massage,..."
Look for the hidden messages in your irritations and complaints above. Are they reflective of bigger issues in your marriage? In my professional experience it always is! The people that say that their partner was rushed in massaging their body are the ones that say that their partners really pay them too little attention in general. The ones that say things like, "The bath was nice but I really didn't like all that silence and having my partner stare at me" are the ones that feel naked and exposed in relationship and would rather not be really seen for who they are for fear of rejection.
All of this of course can lead to more material to tap on to get the crap out of the way and re-establish intimacy, trust, and finally sexual union.
This last bit is where you can use EFT. Here as some examples of what might come up:
"Even though I felt incredibly vulnerable,....."
"Even though I was sad that my partner seemed more interested in the food and bath than in looking into my eyes, ..."
"Even though I felt angry that he was rushing through my massage,..."
Look for the hidden messages in your irritations and complaints above. Are they reflective of bigger issues in your marriage? In my professional experience it always is! The people that say that their partner was rushed in massaging their body are the ones that say that their partners really pay them too little attention in general. The ones that say things like, "The bath was nice but I really didn't like all that silence and having my partner stare at me" are the ones that feel naked and exposed in relationship and would rather not be really seen for who they are for fear of rejection.
All of this of course can lead to more material to tap on to get the crap out of the way and re-establish intimacy, trust, and finally sexual union.
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